


Five Times Mark Told A Dad Joke and the One Time Matt Did

by arey0unasty



Category: Blink-182
Genre: 5+1 Things, Brief mention of Jack, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mentions of Mark's twitter, dad jokes, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 11:59:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11736594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arey0unasty/pseuds/arey0unasty
Summary: Mark tells a bunch of dad jokes and Matt wonders why he's dating him.





	Five Times Mark Told A Dad Joke and the One Time Matt Did

**Author's Note:**

> None of this is real! It's all in good fun, no disrespect to the people mentioned or their family members.
> 
> Inspired by Mark's twitter & me obsessing over Dream Daddy for the past week.

It was early. The two men were laying in bed, each doing their own thing. Mark on his phone, Matt reading a book. Matt heard Mark laugh quietly, and then his own phone vibrated.

Mark had tweeted. ‘But in the end, it was the fidget who spun me.’ 

“Are you fucking serious, babe?” 

Mark looked over at Matt, who was glaring at him. “What are you talking about?”

Matt just shoved his phone towards Mark’s face, unable to read the tweet out loud. Mark laughed again upon seeing his tweet. “It was funny, Matt. More importantly though, you have twitter notifications on for me?” 

The younger man stole his phone back. He didn’t say anything, but Mark could make out a light blush coating his cheeks in the dim lighting. 

“Listen, I-” Matt stopped himself. “I don’t use twitter anymore, but I’ve always had notifications on for you.” 

Mark cooed at his boyfriend. “You’ve loved my bad jokes since the beginning, Matty. Admit it. You love them.” Matt flicked him off, opting to turn his attention to his book. He heard Mark snicker again before he finally rolled out of bed to go start the day.

****************************

Later that day, the couple were driving home from their lunch date at Crossroads. They passed a cemetery, and Mark had a smirk on his face. 

“Babe, this graveyard looks overcrowded.” Mark said. Matt glanced at him, and then shifted his focus to the road. “People must be dying to get in there.”

Matt groaned, resisting the urge to drive into the ditch. “That was awful and you know it. That’s not even a graveyard, it’s a cemetery, there’s no church.”

Mark giggled at his boyfriend’s rant. “Aw babe, did you learn that from my twitter?” He could see Matt’s face turn pink, his mouth opening and closing as if he was going to reply. He finally just sighed, scowling at the road. 

****************************

That night, Mark and Matt were curled up on the couch, watching some cooking show. It was a grilled cheese challenge.

“How do you fuck up a grilled cheese?” Matt asked, enchanted by the competition. “He deserved to get sent home.”

“Well, he burned his bread, Matt. I guess you could say he was...toast.” 

Matt turned to look at him. He didn’t need to say anything for Mark to know what he was thinking. “I’m sleeping on the couch for that, aren’t I?” 

“No, you can sleep in our bed, but you can’t sleep with me.” Matt said. 

“That’s fair. The pun was worth it, Matty.” 

****************************

“Did you hear about the guy who was admitted to the hospital with eight plastic horses in his stomach?” Mark asked. Matt rolled over and turned to face Mark, a pained look on his face. 

“Mark. Let me rest. I’ll blow you in the shower tomorrow morning if you don’t finish this joke.”

“...His condition is stable.” The pair stared at each other. Mark’s face was amused, Matt looked like he wanted to suffocate Mark with his pillow. 

“I hate you.” Matt said bluntly, rolling over and turning out the light. 

“Nonsense, you love me, Matty. And my bad jokes. It’s a package deal and you knew what you were signing up for.” Mark said, wrapping his arms around Matt’s waist, pulling him close so his back was flush with Mark’s chest. Matt sighed and snuggled up against him.

“Go to bed, you fuckin’ dork.” 

****************************

“Hey Matt?” Mark asked. Matt looked up from the newspaper he was reading and immediately frowned. Mark was using the infamous dad joke voice. He knew something was coming.

“Why did the coffee file a police report?” Matt just stared at him. Mark held a straight face, but his eyes were sparkling. 

“Why?” Matt finally asked. 

“It got mugged!” Mark exclaimed, bursting into laughter. Matt smirked at him once he calmed down, earning a raised eyebrow from Mark.

“That coffee pun was grounds for divorce, babe.” 

Mark just stared at him. They heard Jack groan from the other room, letting them know he had heard their dad jokes. 

Mark beamed at him. “Matt. I’m so proud of you.” He pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. Matt rolled his eyes before leaning over to kiss Mark, causing him to smile wider.


End file.
